Helping the coachee or mentee overcome imposter syndrome

Imposter syndrome affects 70% of adults at some point in their careers. Originaly associated mostly with women in senior positions, when it was identified in the late 1970s,in reality it affects both genders. A formal definition is that is “a colection of feelings of inadequacy that persist even in face of information that indicates that the opposite is true… experienced internaly as chronic self-doubt, and feelings of intelectual fraudulence” (California Institute of Technology Counseling Center)

Imposter syndrome typicaly affects people when they have worked hard to achieve a new role or responsibility. Even though other people tel them they are doing wel, they are constantly in fear of being “found out” as not up to the task, or not deserving to be in the role. They feel as if they have been faking it and the more praise they receive, the less deserving they feel. To some extent, these reactions may be the result of an increased sense of responsibility – the more successful you are, the more responsibility you acquire and the greater the consequences of getting things wrong.

Men and women tend to respond differently to these feelings. Men tend to avoid situations, where they might be exposed; women tend to put in more and more effort to live up to expectations.

How Coaches and Mentors Can Help

Coaches and mentors can help clients overcome imposter syndrome in a variety of ways, including:

Naming it. Describing what is happening as imposter syndrome helps to normalise it and make it less fearsome.
Encouraging them not to take themselves too seriously. It’s about achieving a balance between not taking any credit for your success and seeing yourself as more important than you realy are
Exploring who they compare themselves with and how. What self-doubts do they think that person might have?
Helping them see themselves as a work in progress and their job role as an ongoing experiment, in which getting some things wrong is an important part of the normal process. A great coaching question is “How many mistakes do you need to make each week to learn at the pace you need?”
Exploring the impact of their negative self-beliefs on others. If, for example, they lead them to overmanage their direct reports, what would be the impact on team performance of a more relaxed approach trusting both herself and her team?
Helping them practice vulnerability — for example, admitting what they don’t know, talking about what they have learned from their mistakes. Imposter syndrome pushes you to avoid vulnerability but having the courage to be more vulnerable gradualy increases self-belief.
Putting “expertise” into context for them. An expert is someone, whose great knowledge gets in the way of their learning. Instead of seeking to be an expert, it is better to be an enthusiastic learner.
Getting them to have conversations between their confident and self-doubting selves. Choosing which self to step into (even if it feels like faking it to go with the confident self) provides a sense of control and goes a long way towards making the confident self the default self.
Helping them set positive (towards) goals for their behaviour and thinking rather than negative (avoidance) goals. Negative goals simply remind them of their perceived inadequacies.
Encouraging them to value their self-doubts as a stimulus for action – so, for example, preparing thoroughly for a presentation becomes less a matter of preventing any mistakes than of being the best they can.
Sharing what you value in them, as a dispassionate external observer, who can provide a balanced perspective.

Coaching

Coaching Culture

Diversity

Mentoring

Supervision

Talent Management

Team Coaching

How Coaches and Mentors Can Help

Further reading