When one of your direct reports acquires a mentor, it can seem like a mixed blessing. On the one hand, the mentee will be receiving another perspective on their work, their working relationships, and on their career. They will be helped to think about how to be more effective in their current role, as well as to prepare for future responsibilities. And the fact that they have been chosen as a mentee is a de facto recognition of your own role as a developer of talent. On the other hand, the confidentiality of the mentoring relationship and what is discussed in it can seem threatening.

Your responsibility and the mentor’s responsibility for the mentee’s development divide broadly as follows:

  • You will normally take a relatively short-term skills and performance perspective, while the mentor takes a relatively longer term, career perspective.
  • You provide the mentee with challenging tasks and opportunities to learn through their day-to-day work; the mentor helps them think about how they can use their current role to develop capabilities needed for future roles.

Of course, there is a lot of crossover in these responsibilities, but it helps to have some clarity about where each of you places the emphasis.

You can help your direct report make the most of the mentoring opportunity, on behalf of both themselves and your team, if you keep the following guidelines in mind:

  1. Accept that the discussions will be confidential – the mentee has someone with whom they can discuss deeper concerns. Sometimes they will talk about you. Be grateful for this, as it almost always leads to a greater awareness of how they can support you and the team.
  2. Be prepared to suggest issues that the mentee should talk through with their mentor – demonstrating support in this way will increase their confidence in you. If appropriate, help them think through how they will make best use of the mentoring relationship. But be careful not to impose your views on them.
  3. Be open to suggestions from the mentee about how they might take on additional responsibilities or try out new roles.
  4. While it is not permissible to ask the mentee about the content of their mentoring sessions, it is legitimate to enquire:
    • How the mentoring relationship is progressing
    • What additional support they might find helpful from you
    • What learning they might wish to share within the team
  5. It is normally not good practice to engage in conversation about the mentee with their mentor. Doing so can make the mentee less open with both of you.
  6. If the mentee is not happy with their mentor, be open to discussing this issue with the mentee and HR together.
  7. Continue your role as line manager coach – the mentee is likely to have even more issues, on which they’d appreciate coaching, as mentoring makes them more aware of their potential.
  8. Be alert to situations where the mentee is getting contradictory advice from you and the mentor. This can place the mentee in a difficult position, as they can feel pressured by both of you. Emphasize that they are in charge of their own decisions and suggest, if appropriate, that they speak to other people, who will provide a wider spectrum of opinion.

© David Clutterbuck