At first thought, “positively cynical” seems like a non-sequitur. Being cynical, according to author Jamil Zaki[1] is a belief that people generally are selfish, greedy and dishonest. The degree, to which we accept this view, influences how we interact with others. It also influences – negatively – how well we perform on a wide variety of tasks, such as analytical, mathematical or social. In other words, being a cynic makes us less effective as leaders, coaches and human beings.

Zaki’s studies show that “we are even more cynical about people we disagree with… We think that [they] are much more extreme, much more hateful and much more violent than they really are.”

Zaki also distinguishes between hope and optimism. “When we feel cynical about issues such as climate change, we are less likely to do anything about them because we feel that our actions have no meaning. Hope… is a sense that things [can] get better and [that] we can have something to do with that improvement…”

He offers three antidotes to cynicism:

  • Hopeful scepticism – being open to information that challenges our negative thinking
  • Taking calculated leaps of faith in other people
  • Understand how our attitudes – positive or negative – affect others

All of this is relevant to both coaching and leadership. We have from time to time to deal with people, who have been beaten down by their experiences and for whom cynicism has become a form of self-defence. The key to helping them is to give them permission to explore alternative perspectives, rediscover the goodwill that is there for the asking and to work out what the most productive balance is for them between suspicion and trust.

Some useful questions here include:

  • What would it take for you to trust yourself more?
  • What can you do to earn more trust from others?
  • What would be the benefit of trusting others more?
  • What would it take for you to trust them more?
  • What’s the conversation you both need to have to build trust in each other?

[1] Author of Hope for Cynics: The surprising science of human goodness – in an interview for New Scientist, 17 August 2024

©️David Clutterbuck, 2024