Introspection – being able to look in at ourselves – is at the heart of both leadership and coaching. Wise leaders’ self-awareness contributes to their identity and groundedness. When we understand ourselves better, we are more able to understand others. Coaching and mentoring both help others to gain clarity about their internal and external environments and therefore to make wiser decisions based how these two worlds interface and interact.

Too much of a good thing can be a problem, however. Several studies in recent years[1] have found that, for people with depression, introspection can make things worse. The nub of the issue is the difference between self-reflection and self-rumination. Rumination is defined as “the act of revolving something in one’s mind”; while self-reflection is defined as “the activity of thinking about your own feelings and behaviour, and the reasons that may lie behind them”.  We can think about the differences between them in several ways:

Purpose:  self-reflection is primarily aimed at achieving insight or understanding; self-rumination at self-justification or self-blame.

Time orientation: self-reflection seeks to move forwards from the present to the future; self-rumination often remains trapped in the past

Focus: self-rumination tends mainly to looking inwards; self-reflection both inwards and outwards

Outcome: self-reflection can be liberating as we embrace new understanding; self-rumination can trap us into unproductive circular thinking. Self-reflection typically leads to new choices and actions; self-rumination can prevent us from seeing or accepting these.

The studies show that, for people suffering from depression, while self-reflection can sometimes lead to self-rumination, self-rumination rarely leads to self-reflection. Among the implications of this for leaders and for the coaches, who work with them, is the need for a high level of carefulness in encouraging greater introspection. For example, while a coaching session may be a safe environment, what happens when the leader continues to introspect afterwards? The coach’s responsibility does not stop at the end of the allotted hour.

At a minimum, if a client shows any signs of depression, it’s important to establish their tendency towards self-reflection and self-rumination. If their tendency is stronger towards self-rumination, we can help them develop more fruitful post-session strategies. We may also consider whether it is appropriate to recommend counselling or other therapeutic alternatives.

Questions that may help someone stay in productive self-reflection, or move into it from self-rumination, include:

  • What can you forgive yourself/ others for?
  • How can your future self be grateful for the learning this experience can give you?
  • What will allow you to laugh at yourself?
  • How can you reward yourself for letting go of the guilt/ anxiety?
  • What would enable you to concentrate on the future rather than the past?
  • Who cares enough about you, who will accept you as you are and help you move on?
  • When your thoughts deplete your energy, what can you choose to do instead that will re-energise you?
  • If your thinking takes you round in circles, what new thoughts could help you break out of this?
  • What do other people, who depend on you, need from you right now?
  • How can you retell this story with a happy ending?

Being aware of the difference between self-reflection and self-rumination enables a coach to be more closely attuned to the client’s mental state and readiness to find positive ways forward. Being blissfully unaware runs the risk of leaving them worse off!

[1] Keisuke Takano, Yoshihiko Tanno (2009) Self-rumination, self-reflection, and depression: Self-rumination counteracts the adaptive effect of self-reflection, Behaviour Research and Therapy Volume 47, Issue 3, March 2009, Pages 260-264

Trapnell, P.D. and Campbell, J.D., 1999. Private self-consciousness and the five-factor model of personality: distinguishing rumination from reflection. Journal of personality and social psychology, 76(2), p.284.

©️David Clutterbuck, 2024