How to help a coachee or mentee be “realistic” about their performance
The “better-than-average effect” is a phenomenon first explored in the 1960s, when it was discovered that terrible drivers all judged themselves to be better than average and much closer to the expert end of the spectrum than to the poor driver end. Further studies showed that our propensity to believe we are better than average is an essential part of how we maintain self-esteem and that people, who do not see themselves in this way tend to suffer from mental ill health described as depressive realism.
The problem with the better-than-average effect comes when it goes to extreme – when people ignore all the evidence that suggests they are much less effective than they would like to think they are. In the workplace, we see this happen particularly at performance appraisal time, when people refuse to accept that they are underperforming compared to their peers.
Arguing with them and focusing on evidence usually won’t work, because they will rationalize all the arguments away. The trick is to focus on the positive, esteem-building perspective of what it would take to be 10% or 20% better than now. Removing the comparison with others and accentuating the comparison with “you at your best” takes away the defensiveness, replacing problem with opportunity.
© David Clutterbuck