Even the best of leaders can’t attend to everything. They try to ensure that all the important issues are covered, with someone in the team having accountability and responsibility for them. Both team coaches and one-to-one coaches are vulnerable, however, to the team leader who doesn’t manage some areas of his or her responsibilities well. The danger comes from two directions:

  • The coach takes responsibility for elements of how the leader manages relationships with people above him or her.
  • The coach or mentor becomes an intermediary between the leader and the team.

Both of these place the coach in a no-win situation. In both situations, you end up with a lot of influence but no real authority. While the leader may find this a satisfying solution, neither his bosses nor his direct reports will feel the same – indeed, they are likely to resent and even try to undermine the coach’s influence. In constellations theory, this situation is described as triangulation – a three-cornered relationship where there should be a straight-line relationship.

Defence Strategies for Coaches

The first defence for a coach is to recognise when this kind of dynamic is playing out. Then it’s important to contract clearly with everyone – the leader, the team, and the leader’s boss – what their responsibilities are. The role of the coach is to help each of them fulfil those responsibilities, not to do it for them.

Addressing Delegated Responsibility Without Authority

Sometimes, you will find that the leader has plugged the gap by appointing one of the team to handle the responsibilities they are avoiding. This person may simply be a confidante, or they may be told to act on behalf of the leader without any specific role or authority. This is invariably an uncomfortable position to be in, but for a weak leader, it is a convenient way of passing on responsibility if things go wrong. It might seem that this person is well-placed to step into the leader’s shoes eventually, but constellations practitioners observe that this almost never happens – there is simply too much negative emotion about the situation.

If as a coach, you observe this dynamic, you can assist change by asking: If we take the triangulated person out of the picture, what is missing in this team system? Or more specifically – what role is missing? Working with the team and the leader together, you can help them define this role and how it might best be filled. Often, this will not be by placing all the responsibility on one person’s shoulders but by sharing responsibility across the team.

You can also explore with the team leader what motivated them to create a situation that undermines both their own credibility and that of the triangulated direct report. Understanding their motivations is a first step towards developing a more courageous style of leadership.

© David Clutterbuck, 2015