Great mentoring relationships are always ones where there is high potential for and willingness to co-learn. A basic guideline for finding the right mentoring partner for you is to look for someone who is sufficiently similar to you that you will be able to build and maintain rapport, but sufficiently different to provide a strong basis for learning by accessing different perspectives.

Mentees should not include in their criteria anything along the lines of “someone who can take an active role in managing or progressing my career”. Sponsorship is a different role and one that is generally incompatible with mentoring because it discourages openness and focuses attention on the other person’s power to influence rather than on their wisdom. If you want a sponsor (or several sponsors), you should seek someone other than your mentor.

Mentors and mentees should also be careful not to over-emphasise the role of skills transfer in the ideal relationship. While this may be a useful part of the learning relationship, those where it becomes a major motivation tend to run out of steam relatively quickly.

A Checklist for Mentees

  1. In what areas is it important to me to find someone who shares a similar background, personality, experience, etc.?
  2. In what areas is it important for me to find someone with a different background, personality, experience, etc.?
  3. What specific learning needs do I have in terms of career direction and/or career progress?
  4. What specific learning needs do I have in terms of personal development and personal growth?
  5. What general learning needs do I have?
  6. What kind of role model would I like to team up with?
  7. How important to me is the mentor’s length of tenure in the company? In the industry?
  8. How much challenge am I willing to take and give?
  9. What can I offer as a source of learning to a mentor?
  10. How long a relationship am I looking for? (i.e., is this for a short-term learning need, a long-term need, or a series of progressive short-term needs?)
  11. Is it important to me to have a relationship where we can meet face to face most of the time, or would I be happy to have most meetings virtually?

A Checklist for Mentors

  1. What kind of experience, background, and perspective different to my own might give me the greatest insights into myself and the world around me?
  2. How much difference can I cope with?
  3. If I am honest with myself, what groups do I feel most and least uncomfortable talking and working with, outside of transactional conversations?
  4. What can I offer them as a role model? As a source of learning?
  5. How long a relationship am I looking for? (i.e., would I prefer someone with a short-term learning need, a long-term need, or a series of progressive short-term needs?)
  6. How much challenge am I willing to take and give?
  7. Is it important to me to have a relationship where we can meet face to face most of the time, or would I be happy to have most meetings virtually?

© David Clutterbuck, 2015