Most of us have a bias towards optimism or pessimism. Within normal ranges, this is quite healthy, but outside of these, it can be a significant problem in terms of relationships with colleagues, decision-making, and career potential. Of course, some jobs demand an element of pessimism — working in finance or compliance requires a focus on risk or what might go wrong. Equally, a measure of optimism is generally regarded as helpful in a sales or marketing role.

When someone always looks on the downside, however, or at the other extreme always assumes things will work out in the end, it may be a symptom of a disorder that requires therapy. Bouncing between such extremes can be a sign of, for example, schizophrenia. As a coach or mentor, you will want to keep this in mind as a potential boundary issue. If in doubt, seek advice!

In normal circumstances, however, you can help someone rebalance their optimism and pessimism. Here are some examples of approaches you can use:

  1. Encourage pessimists to keep a “gratitude diary” — a daily record of things they can feel grateful for.
  2. Help both optimists and pessimists create a list of things they feel optimistic and pessimistic about, so they see both sides at the same time.
  3. Encourage them to consult and listen. Unrealistically positive or negative views are difficult to maintain if you gather opinions from enough other people. Use specific situations and help them think through who they might consult. If, as is common in such cases, they have developed the habit of dismissing views that do not coincide with their own, you can explore the impact of that habit on them and on other people. In other words, help them to develop the habit of taking regular reality checks.
  4. Encourage pessimists to laugh at themselves – to see the ridiculous side of their mindset. Start by being a role model for self-deprecating humour yourself, to make it safe and encourage them to copy.

It’s important not to aim to change the person’s personality – even if you could, this would be inappropriate. What we are really trying to do is get them to step outside of their instinctive reactions and perspectives so they can make adjustments that are authentic to themselves. When people operate at the extremes of optimism, they may ignore danger signs; at the extremes of pessimism, they may feel there is nothing they can do. Taking different perspectives allows them to recognise what they can do and energises them to action.

© David Clutterbuck, 2015